i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
