if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My pussy is not your playground.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I AM VODKA MAN
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
