I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
