he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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