He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
