i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
