i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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