He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
