I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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