Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are two peas in an std pod
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
