I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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