I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
birth control should be required to get into college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
