either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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