Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
God, I missed his penis.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize