How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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