I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
