Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
