If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
