somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
