Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
