it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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