I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
