hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
