i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
