She said her name was "party"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
