I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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