I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
