You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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