Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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