just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
