Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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