Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
