Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
