Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
