okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dignity is for republicans.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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