we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
