The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
