He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
