He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
