That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
