you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
