No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize