your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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