Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
