we have pet lesbian snakes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
