i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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