can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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