i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need water and some morals
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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