he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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