omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
