awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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