I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
