I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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