You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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