when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
