If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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