Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
