I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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