with your own penis?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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