if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
