I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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