My nipple is on Facebook.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
