in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
