He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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