There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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