if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
