My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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