I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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