...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He kissed a someone with a penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
