god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
