just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
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Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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