What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
